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Different Voice for a Changing Audience Project

Page history last edited by Jenna 16 years, 9 months ago

 

 

I wrote letters to three different people who each have different knowledge levels about Second Life. Breana is my cousin, Patricia is a fellow class mate, and Professor Van Gelder is dance professor here at the university. In each letter I had to adapt to the person I was writing to based off of their computer gaming knowledge and virtual awareness. I had to do explainations and background on second life for Breana and Professor Van Gelder because I know they have never used or heard of Second Life. However based on the fact that I know Breana loves to play the Sims, it was easier to compare second life to that so she could better visualize what it was like. Writing to my classmate was the least challenging because she is having a similar experience as me. I knew Patricia would most easily relate to my letter since she is involved in second life. I found writing to Professor Van Gelder the most difficult since I assumed she had no prior knowledge of virtual worlds or online gaming. Therefore, I took more time to focus on explaining the basic idea of second life. This project helped show how knowing an audience and their background really influences the direction and purpose of how one approaches writing.

 

 

Letter One- To my cousin 

 

Hey Breana,

I recently created an avatar in the developing world of Second Life. I think you would really enjoy being involved in this virtual world. I can best compare it to the Sims but it’s much more advanced. You can create your avatar to be anyway you want. You can customize the smallest details like the length of their nose, depth of their cheeks, and style of their walk. The biggest way Second Life differs from the Sims is that it offers a huge educational opportunity. Residents of second life- the people behind the avatars- create and edit everything, with the exception on currency, within the world. Therefore you can visit a “man made” virtual version of Mexico, for example, and get a more valuable, interactive, and visual experience than you would gain from plain texts. It wouldn't be the same full experience of visiting the tangible landmarks of Mecxico but it is virtually modeled in a similar enough fashion to the real thing to be educationally beneficial. Second Life presents a chance to travel through teleportation in seconds to sights that would normally take hours or a lifetime to visit. A very unique aspect about Second Life is that every face has a real person behind it, unlike the Sims where the game generates characters. Therefore, avatars have personality, style, and their own “swag”.  I found the extent of detail and characterization in SL amazing. Virtual reality in SL comes very close to what we know as reality in everyday life. You should check it out!

Sincerely,

Jenna

 

Hey Jenna,

 

 

 

When I first read your letter about Second Life I was initially creeped out about how life- like the game was. After giving it a second thought, I think that it is rather interesting and shows the advancement of technology. It sounds to me like a high definition Sims! I think it is pretty cool that unlike the Sims the avatars in Second Life can be a computer generated me. I find the "teleportation" to be the most thrilling part of SL. Maybe we should stake our claim in SL and name it “Damii Island” (lol) Who knows, it might be fun!

 

 

Sincerely, Breana 

 

 

 

Letter 2- To my classmate 

 

Dear Patricia

I'm slowly becoming more adapted to the developing world of Second Life. I still haven’t defined my avatar but I’m gradually building her personality and style. Her name is Fierce Soulstar and with a name like that she has to be full of personality! While walking through SL I still find the details to be the most amazing aspect about it. As a newbie, I feel under developed in comparison to most of the residents I see flying around. I met a person whose boots laces changed colors. I want to find away to separate myself and be unique in that world. Are you finding an identity for your avatar okay?

 

The educational opportunity it presents is probably the most beneficial part of existing in such a world. I think it is much more interesting to explore spaceships in SL than to read about them in a library database.  Second life allows us to virtually create our own people, places, and lifestyle while learning at the same time. That's an awesome combination. On top of that, we can fly! I find flying slightly difficult to navigate so I prefer teleporting whenever possible. Teleportation enables us to travel and explore places we would possibly never get to see in one life time. Maybe we can do a virtual spring break in SL's Mexico!

The social side of second life makes it more fun than a normal classroom setting. I think that having interaction between the avatars really enriches the overall experience of SL similar to the way working in groups can enrich a classroom. I recently went to the Theorist Project with another classmate and found that walking around with a friend was more enjoyable than being a loner.  I think it’s a very exciting world to be in and hopefully we can meet up and explore it together. I look forward to seeing you around.

Sincerely,

Jenna aka Fierce Soulstar

 

Dear Jenna,

 

 

 

My avatar is developing very well into a regular Second Life resident. I do not look like such a "newbie" because I am learning how to teleport, fly correctly and not bump into people and make them mad, but I am not an expert yet. I have not yet mastered the ability to make shoelaces change either, but my abilities are coming along. I hope to someday be able to accomplishes feats like that, but right now I am concentrating on finding out the abilities of my avatar and all the possible places I could visit.

 

 

 

 

I also love the educational opportunities that Second Life provides by allowing us to see historical places up close and not have to learn from a flat picture. We can see the places in 3-D and get a much better sense of its details. I have never used any other technology that allowed the user to create his/her own replica of a place like the Sistine Chapel and it looks so real!

 

 

 

 

I enjoy interacting as well with other residents because they can be sitting at their computer in any corner of the world at that moment. I find this fascinating that you never know who your avatar could be chatting with. I would love for us to go exploring together some time and see what new places and people we could find and make friends with. Just let me know when! See you soon Fierce Soulstar!

 

 

 

 

Sincerely, Patricia

 

 

 

Letter 3- To my dance professor

 

Dear Professor Van Gelder,

 

My English 103 class is taking a new and very modern approach at developing analytical writing skills through the use of Second Life. Second Life is a virtual world where people can create and customize thier own avatars. The world of Second Life is filled with many real life vacation destinations, museums, landmarks, and much more for users to explore. It may come off as strange, but destinations in Second Life are very similar to the actual places of our world. I recently visited a virtual version of Harlem, NY in second life. While there i explored the Apollo Theatre and learned many facts about the history and development of Harlem. As an education tool, second life presents many possibilities to do things  that real life normally would not allow time, funding, or courage for. For example,you canvisit NASA International Air and Space Museum and fly a spaceship in Second Life! I think Second Life has a promising future as both an educational tool and social network. Since the people who use second life also create every aspect about it, you have the option to contribute whatever you think second life is missing. For example, I know we both share a genuine love for the art of dance. Second life allows for people who normally couldn't endulge in the art of dance to participate virtually within that world. It is wonderful to think that someone who cant afford to learn or is disabled from doing so,  can gain knowledge about dance and its history through a free simulation in Second Life. Perhaps in the future you might even consider offering a class in Second Life when we face bad weather!

Sincerely,

Jenna

 

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Comments (2)

Joe Essid said

at 8:33 pm on Sep 21, 2009

Overall, you've transformed the voice and style properly for each audience. That works very well, so the big job is done. Now you can turn to a very important second job: avoiding all of the sentence-level errors that make the writing seem very rushed along.

Comments on specific issues:

--"thier background": slow down and read aloud. Also watch for the red underscoring of the text as you type it here. You'll see words like "thier" appear for correction.

--"being apart of" is not the same as "being a part of." Be certain to learn the difference for these commonly confused terms.

--"Not to mention avatars can fly automatically." This incomplete sentence is fine in an informal note to one's sister. Just keep in mind, however, that it's a faculty "pet peeve" in formal writing.

--"get the full experience and knowledge you would gain from visiting the tangible landmark" is quite a claim! Note how the word "full" really broadens your claim. Removing it is not enough. You need a better way to show the reader that SL does not substitute for real-life travel but provides something fulfilling (and different).

--"Appollo"...ouch. That won't impress a faculty member. As with the other spelling error, slow down and re-check your facts before sending something out.

--"inclement" weather is the correct term. "Inclimate" is a misstatement and not the correct term; I'd just say "bad weather."

Joe Essid said

at 2:11 pm on Oct 8, 2009

I didn't put this into your graded assessment, but each wiki page you make needs a link back to your main page. Add them please.

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